var masturbo = [
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"BP",
"body_value":"",
"reagents":"<ul><li>Salmiakkikossu</li><li>Koskenkorva</li><li>Sausage</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>First stick in the sausage in slices.</li><li>Pour in the Salmiakkikossu</li><li>Put in the koskenkorva with a spoon to make two layers!</li>",
"result":"<p>It's Bensa Petroliously good!</p></ol></ul>"},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"Lasol",
"body_value":"",
"reagents":"<ul><li>Raspberry-cloudberry liqueur</li><li>Triple Sec</li><li>One drinking glass of desired size</li><li>A bottle of sherry. Any cheap brand will do</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Pour some sherry to the drinking glass.</li><li>Drink the sherry from the glass.</li><li>Repeat until bottle of sherry is empty, but be careful to leave a bit of sherry to the bottom of the glass.</li><li>Add liqueur and triple sec in equal portions to the glass.</li><li>Serve at room temperature.</li>",
"result":"<p>Ia! Ia!</p></ol></ul>"},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"Blood of The Innocent",
"body_value":"",
"reagents":"<ul><li>All your red wine</li><li>Less Sprite than red wine</li><li>Some Ethanol</li><li>A bowl or similar</li><li>Some dry ice</li><li>Cut-off fingers</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Put the bowl on the table and pour in all your red wine.</li><li>Pour in the Sprite and mix with something (your hand, if nothing else is available). Do not mix with your dick.</li><li>Flavor with Ethanol.</li><li>Just prior to serving add ~100 grams of dry ice and decorate with some cut-off fingers.",
"result":"Note that you will have to keep adding dry ice as it melts.</ol></ul>"},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"Deadly Mary",
"body_value":"",
"reagents":"<ul><li>4cl Vodka</li><li>2cl Tequila</li><li>10cl tomato juice</li><li>3ml(half a teaspoon) lemon juice</li><li>2 drops of Worchester sauce</li><li>4 drops of tabasco\/habanero sauce\/similar</li><li>black pepper</li><li>dried powdered celery\/celery salt</li><li>a kick-ass glass (preferably with ornamental flames)</li><li>crushed ice</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Dump all the booze and juice to the glass (or a mixer if you happen to have one). All left over vodka and tequila should be drunk during the making of this drink.</li><li>Add the sauces, pepper, celery and salt according to your personal preference.</li><li>Mix whilst listening some inspiring song like Satan went to Sauna.</li><li>Pour the drink to the glass if it's not there already.</li><li>Fill the rest of the glass with ice.</li><li>Drink and worship Satan.</li><li>Be violently sick afterwards.</ol></ul>",
"result":""},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"Coffee",
"body_value":"",
"reagents":"<ul><li>A coffee maker</li><li>Whiskey</li><li>Some carbonated cola drink</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Remove the glass container from the coffee maker.</li><li>Put the rest of the coffee maker away.</li><li>Pour all available whiskey into the container.</li><li>Top up with the cola drink.</li><li>Drink from the container with your band.</ol></ul>",
"result":""},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"Saatanan Kyynel (Tears of Satan)",
"body_value":"",
"reagents":"<ul><li>All the Gin you can find</li><li>All the Bourbon you can find</li><li>Some carbonated cola drink</li><li>A container of some sort</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Put the container on a table and pour in all your gin and bourbon.</li><li>Fill the rest of the container with cola (the size of the container determines the alcohol content of the mixture)</li><li>mix with something (your hand, if nothing else is available).</li>",
"result":"<p>Enjoy.</p></ol></ul>"},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"Satanick Ceviche of the Seas of Suffering",
"body_value":"Surprise your friends, foes, fraternity and family with this exotic dish straight from the jungles of Antarctica.",
"reagents":"<ul><li>A fish that is deadder than death itself</li><li>A bunch of lemons or other acidic things (sulphur works fine too)</li><li>Onions, the more the merrier</li><li>Mixed herbs and spices</li><li>A bottle of Tequila</li><li>A container which doesn't melt in the acids of your preference</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Chop up the fish to ensure that it's really dead.</li><li>Sacrifice a moment of thought to the departed sea-creature's eternal soul you have violated.</li><li>Thank great Cthulhu for the boon of having a dead fish available in the first place (and your sanity).</li><li>Hack and slash at the onions until you're crying like a goth bastard.</li><li>Fight the urge to paint your nails black and listen to some Sisters of Mercy.</li><li>Squeeze the juice out of the lemons with your mighty arms of destruction. Admire your biceps from a mirror at the same time, if possible. It is also a good idea to have a beer or two at this point.</li><li>Pour everything to the container and dump it to the fridge to rest for a few aeons.</li><li>Drink any left over tequila.</li><li>Eat the Satanick Ceviche of the Seas of Suffering.</li><li>Fight the after-taste with even more tequila. And other booze.</li><ol><ul>",
"result":""},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"SausageFest",
"body_value":"",
"reagents":"<ul><li>Sausage</li><li>Vodka</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Stuff the sausage in your mouth as a whole piece</li><li>Pour Vodka in your mouth</li><li>Gargle</li><li>Devour</li></ol></ul>",
"result":""},
{
"type":"masturbation",
"title":"SimpleSatan",
"body_value":"<em>Do you feel intimidated by the complex formulas of the other recipes on this site?</em><br><ul style='list-style-type:none;'><li><sub>This is for all you busy Satanettes out there who don't have time for all those other fancy-pansy drinks with multi-part preparation instructions and exotic ingredients.</sub></li></ul>",
"reagents":"<ul><li>Booze (any kind will do, the stronger the better)</li><li>Non-alcoholic beverage (any kind will do)</li>",
"mixing":"<ol type='I'><li>Mix the booze and the other beverage.</li><li>Drink.</li></ol></ul>",
"result":""}
]