var newsjson = [ {"type":"news_item","title":"The grim midsummer rite of SATANALIA is upon us","body_value":"

The new album Satanalia is now available in your favorite streaming sites, the tubes of the internet and more occult aetheric waves. The unfortunate delay of this release seems to have played by the Dark Lords just as planned. Right now in the middle of the hellish pox-ridden heatwave passing over the Northern wastes, the last harbingers of devastation sing aloud the hymns of insanity, disease and death.

Go forth and rejoice on this dark time of horrible wonders, all shall be forgiven once the end comes.

However before the end might arrive, the Satanalia album is also available as limited edition custom laser-engraved physical USB media wherever Saatanan Marionetit is found present.<\/p>","field_date_value":"2020-06-23"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"Spotify Spawnment","body_value":"

As some of the more dedicated fans have already complained, the band's existing material was briefly unavailable in Spotify and other daemonic digital platforms. This due to Jui Satan getting fucking wasted on crystal and Nirz and Raato trying to summon Baelzsebub to wake him up. It didn't go well.

The bottom line is that all the previously available material has now been made available again, for your masochistic ears only, on your chosen electromagical platform. As an added bonus, now all the discography is published in the aforementioned dens of dankness, except the SingleSatans.

Be grateful, you dark minions.<\/p>","field_date_value":"2019-08-08"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"You thought we were gone, didn't you?","body_value":"

After a nervous breakdown of this website and everyone being too fucking wasted on cheap liquor to do anything about it, this site is up again. Because someone did something. It was probably Satan. The band has taken some downtime to hone their Black Arts to perfection, and in unrelated news Tritonus Satan has been shipped to another country for an undetermined amount of time. He is supposed to return some day as a greater singer, but realistic expectations vary and the Mistresses of Fate are fickle.<\/p>

There are also rumors about new material going to be published soon, or that it already has been published under a pseudonym somewhere. Who knows. Or cares.<\/p>","field_date_value":"2019-06-13"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"A year of silence","body_value":"

So, almost a year has passed by with your favorite Satanick Dark Vortex Metal band laying low.

\"What's up with that?\" you may wonder.

Well, wonder no more. After much work, nocturnal worship services in His name and Jaloviina, we are on the last stretch of getting some new music published. Almost halfway in the final recording process by now, the expectation is to get the new Art out for all you Satanettes and Satanoids to enjoy (and suffer) before autumn. Who knows of which year.

Anyway, that's what's up, you inquisitive bastards.<\/p>","field_date_value":"2017-04-30"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"Silent night, insane night","body_value":"

The third Night of Insanity<\/a> is near, you're right to feel fear, chaotic satanickness on your raw body do smear.<\/p>\r\n

A bunch of bands, joining hands.
A prayer to the dark, in the night unseen demons bark.<\/p>\r\n

To praise the mind,
Or the illness of it.
Actually in hindsight,
let's just get drunk and shit.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n

Saatanan Marionetit will be performing a combination of new and old songs, even one of the very first spacemayhem-themed hits from the dark beginnings of time.
In addition a never before performed new song will be premiered... The Village<\/strong> is a grim place, so you better listen.<\/p>\r\n

This Saturday! Be there!<\/p>","field_date_value":"2016-05-02"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"Sur Satan biography published","body_value":"

The biography page of Sur Satan has finally been published.<\/p>\r\n

Satan commands you to read it. Backwards. <\/p>","field_date_value":"2016-01-09"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"All hail Sur Satan!","body_value":"

From the darkness he arises, to punish all the believers and false saints of the zombie-godson. His might is right and his will is ill, for he is Sur Satan!<\/p>\r\n

The quest for a new perkeloid percussionist has come to a conclusion, and there might be some gigs coming up sooner than you recite the verses of baphomet in reverse order. <\/p>\r\n

The biography section will be updated with the all-important info about the newest band member, and the previous one thrown to the dismembered section (which does not exist yet) when someone bothers to do it. Or is sober enough to do it. Or drunk enough. Anyhow, sooner or later. <\/p>\r\n

Stay tuned for more news of Satanick Suspense.<\/p>","field_date_value":"2015-11-18"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"Satan rides the media","body_value":"

Despite the quiet time lately, things are in motion, sort of.<\/p>\r\n

The hunt for a new drummer continues, auditions for a few promising initiates starting next week. Yours truly will endeavor to keep you enlightened of the progress. <\/p>\r\n

The band has used this short hiatus to upgrade the Dungeon with new enslaved lightning stolen form the Archangel Janus. Now the powers of electricity flows like never before, to better aid our aural dissonant praise to the dark lords. Huge thanks for Spare Satan for (anti)crucial assistance on this elevation of worship facilities.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n

Also, the ever-enthralling Klaudia Weber of Stalker Magazine interviewed Saatanan Marionetit, read the article HERE<\/a>.
Do it.
Satan commands so.<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>","field_date_value":"2015-10-23"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"The descent of Sirkka Satan","body_value":"

On this date Saatanan Marionetit laments to declare that ways of Sirkka Satan and the rest of the band have separated. <\/p>\r\n

The band would like to express their best (worst) wishes (lamentations) and blessings (curses) for Sirkka and his future endeavours, whatever depravity they may be. <\/p>\r\n

Thus, Saatanan Marionetit is once again in the lookout for a new Drummer of Discordia, Percussionist of Perseverance and representative of the Mighty Arms of Destruction. See HERE<\/a> for further information if you think you'd be up to it. <\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n

Hail Satan! Hail Sirkka! Hail! Hail! Satan! Satan!<\/p>","field_date_value":"2015-09-08"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"A week and a day to madness","body_value":"

We all know the story of how the false creator rested on the seventh day, but an often omitted part of the legend tells us that on the eighth day he-who-rots-in-the-heavens went insane. That's the reason for the existence of the seal of the ninth day, which closed the doors of truth from mankind. Cursed thy be!<\/p>\r\n

To commemorate this historical event, it is worth pointing out that in eight days Saatanan Marionetit will be on stage after a half year hiatus in the second Night of Insanity<\/a>. It will be the debut of Sirkka Satan's destructive percussions, and what a horrible night to have the curse of insanity it will be. All hail Macaroni Penguin Music<\/a> for setting up this despicable circus of sodomy and dark euphoria. <\/p>\r\n

So gather your deranged minions and bring them to the catacombs of Dubrovnik<\/a> and experience the plethora of different kinds of psychologically challenged so-called \"artists\". <\/p>\r\n

You can check some irrelevant facts in the Event<\/a> page. If you want. You don't have to. No, really. True insanity spurs from not knowing of things beforehand. And intoxicants. And the Truth.<\/p>","field_date_value":"2015-03-26"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"There was darkness, and He saw that it was bad.","body_value":"

A conglomerate of dark powers assembled to attend to the Grand Press Conference last week, which climaxed to the unveiling of Saatanan Marionetit's new drummer: Sirkka Satan.<\/p>\r\n

This initiate of the Arts hails from the disputed lands of the eastern front, and lists eating newborn babies and burning holy books as his favorite past time. <\/p>\r\n

In a dashing display of dismembering demonisation he demonstrated his skills in banging objects with other objects, and all parties present were astounded by the result. This turns over a new leaf in the epoc of Saatanan Marionetit, and the all-seeing eye has divined that the band will resume touring and playing at live events as soon as the stars are right, which will most probably be early 2015. <\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n

Saatanan Marionetit wishes to thank the following parties who attended the Grand Press Conference, in a random order: <\/p>\r\n

Satan
Osuuskunta Osuusnaali Osk
Cybermedia Finland
Macaroni Penguin Music (present only in spirit and odor)
Lohiliiga
HandNukes of Perkele
Rankkuri


<\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>","field_date_value":"2014-12-02"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"The seeker shall be rewarded with findings!","body_value":"

The long and arduous search from the nether realms has finally born rotten fruit and the gates of hell have spewed forth a new engine of demonic distorted destructive domination.<\/p>\r\n

From the fiery courts of the seven planes of damnation have the dark lords blessed Saatanan Marionetit with new meat and bone.<\/p>\r\n

The heap of biochemical twisted matter took form and at the black anvil of the deranged smith Alhazred this creature developed limbs with flesh-grafted drumsticks. <\/p>\r\n

This culmination of dark vortex energy is still finishing his spawning process in the toxic birthing pools, and a grand press conference announcing the arrival of this dark messiah will be held in the year of damnation 2014.
Scroll the bottom of the page for contact information to get media access to this event. <\/p>\r\n


As often is in the lands of the lost and mystics, much is still unknown but one thing is certain: Saatanan Marionetit has found a new drummer of dismemberment, a percussionist of Perkelous pain, batterist of barfighting brawler berzerkism, an unholy usher of uncreation.<\/p>","field_date_value":"2014-11-20"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"Jatz Satan the Dismembered","body_value":"

With joyfull sadness it is hereby declared that Jatz Satan is a part of Saatanan Marionetit no more.<\/p>\r\n

The events leading to this situation are various and shrouded in mystery, but the harsh reality is that Saatanan Marionetit is currently in need of a new Drummer of the Deepness.
Are you that Percussionist of Perkele? Contact information can be found in the bottom of this page. <\/p>\r\n

 <\/p>\r\n

For the departed and dismembered Saatanan Marionetit member we say:<\/p>\r\n

Hail thee Jatz Satan, may your future incorporate dark and delightful pleasures!<\/p>\r\n

Hail Jatz Satan! <\/p>\r\n

Hail Satan!<\/p>","field_date_value":"2014-10-16"}, {"type":"news_item","title":"Blood is Redder than Water, even in color video","body_value":"

Saatanan Marionetit has published a new music video on this grim September day to please the Dark Lord and his court.<\/p>\r\n

Blood is the essence, blood is life, blood is death. It's also undoubtedly red, and even more so than water. All this was revealed to Saatanan Marionetit long years ago, but it's only until now that the true concensus of crimson-splattered reality is revealed in all its gore. Reflecting the most Satanick orifices of all, the black hole called the human psyche, this glorious display of audiovisual devil worship digs deep into the fundamentals of the agony which is called human existense.<\/p>\r\n

Pain, madness, regret, suffering, agony, blood, subdstance abuse, violence, guilt, homicide, hopelessness, suicide. The recipe for success.<\/p>\r\n